Sub Fusc?

Well, Oxford University is certainly going to be in a game of wits with its first down-and-out graduate student.

Sub Fusc? Of the darkness. What every student must wear under gowns. Yes, the fuddy-duddies of Oxbridge are sticklers for tradition.

Be it matriculation (joining Oxford University), official ceremonies or viva voce (presenting your thesis), you are expected to wear sub fusc under gowns.

Not being one for spending too much money, when I can help it, I spent the day walking from charity shop to charity shop to construct my sub fusc.

I spare you my tired looking, unshaven face. The suit jacket is from a MIND shop (£6 pounds), trousers from the St Johns Ambulance, haute couturiers to the shabbiest, (£3.99), shoes from Oxfam (£4.50), half a size too small but fine for the hour they will be worn.

Getting a second hand wing collared shirt and expecting it not to be yellow was a tall order so half a dozen chain stores and the right shirt was got for a reasonable discount (£17.50). Total £31.99. Compare that with the same (indistinguishable get up) bought new!

Gowns, white bow tie and mortar board will be rented. I will probably wear it about three times during my stay and then never again. No point in buying anything new. I am sure I can find someone to buy it off me at cost.

I was told by the university to prove I had £20,000 so that I could survive the year. Done but there is no way that I'm going to spend that much. Tuition and college fees came to £6400. It's a risk worth taking considering the possible return after graduation.

Books? Who buys books? Every course book has been downloaded as a PDF. Copyright? Tough!

Accommodation will be a rented room in a university house, five minutes walk from my department but only until lectures end. I shall then head back home to complete my thesis.

I will cook all my own food. If I fancy a tipple then I will brew some Turbo Cider. I fully expect to have plenty of change from £9000. Twenty thousand? My arm pits!